The Things That Really Matter
January 06, 2009
Right now, my daughter has become a fighter. She rebels against EVERYTHING. She argues about EVERYTHING. She freaks out and has temper tantrums about (you guessed it) EVERYTHING. My favorite example in the last few days has been the twenty minute tantrum she had about the fact that I took my dirty bowl (note: MY bowl) from the table next to the couch and put it in the sink. She cried about that one for the LONGEST TIME.
It's been challenging. The falling down in the middle of the street because I insist she holds my hand. The throwing toys at my face because I won't play with her while I'm working (perils of working from home). The hitting. The yelling.
I've lost my cool. Not at her (well. Not much.), but I've had to let my husband put her to bed a few times even when she really wanted Mommy because ONE MORE MINUTE was going to make my head pop right off. I've walked away and shut a door. I've basically done the parenting equivalent of putting on my own oxygen mask first-- taking care of ME, so I can take care of HER.
When coping with a toddler, it's important to remember what's really important. Here's my list of things to keep in mind when I'm at my wits end.
1. She will not be permanently scarred if I lose my cool once in a while. I try, I really do, but sometimes-- I yell. There are times when this is the only thing that my daughter will respond to. And if she's running toward the street? Yeah, yelling is just fine. She'll live.
2. She isn't trying to drive me crazy; she's just acting her age. I need to keep this one in mind. Cause sometimes? It seems personal, doesn't it?
3. She is learning. No matter how she behaves, she is in the process of learning how a human behaves in our society. My job is to show her the way without squelching her personality.
4. She will not act like this forever. Or at least, so I hear. Right? RIGHT?
5. She goes to bed at night. This helps me sometimes more than you can know. Just remembering that in a few. short. hours. she will be asleep can keep me from raising my voice sometimes.
Being a parent is challenging in many ways I didn't expect. How do you cope?